E commerce business analyst- Information technology

by Kim
(Houston, TX)

A motivated self starter Sr. Business Analyst with over 4 years of professional experience looking to obtain a position with an organization that will utilize my skills and experience while providing opportunities for professional development.

Response from Carl: Thanks Kim. Just to keep things formal in your resume I'd spell out the word Senior rather than using a short form like Sr. It's just more professional.

What you've written uses quite a few words but many of the words you've written are somewhat unnecessary and non-specific. The reader knows you're a "motivated Senior Business Analyst with 4 years of experience." I just summarized in 9 words what you mentioned in 35 words.

In other words, what you've written contains a lot of filler that would best be replaced with some specifics. "Motivated Senior Business Analyst with 4 years of experience..." would be one way to start your Career Objective, followed up with some specifics of what you offer the company.

Don't worry about including the "providing opportunities for professional development" part. Your Career Objective should be used to explain what you offer the reader (ie. hiring manager) and not what you want from them.

Carl