Bad Reference

by Lily
(Australia)

Hello there!

I really hope my question makes sense with a bit of background.

I resigned from my previous role because I was sick of being bullied and saw no sense in working somewhere I wasn't happy attending. I did a bit of background digging and found the two previous employees before me had left for similar reasons. One of them had trained me up and we became quite friendly.

I have moved towns and applied for another job. I felt straight away I had the role but they insisted on a reference from my most previous role (the one discussed above).

I advised the interviewer that my previous employer did not give references (true) and asked if she would accept a reference from the previous employee who had trained me (the one I mentioned above). For easy clarity, can I call her Mrs. X.

I rang Mrs. X and confirmed she would be happy to be a reference. We caught up on news and both were happy we had left the previous company. I advised her who would be ringing her and when.

I received a call late the next day from interviewer stating she was having difficult getting into touch with Mrs. X and she asked if I could ring Mrs. X to speed up the process. No problems, I did that and the phone was picked up by a very irate and tearful sounding Mrs. X who stated she was not interested in being my reference anymore as talking about the previous employer had depressed her and she wasn't happy to talk further about them. She then hung up.

I rang my second reference straight away to confirm she was still on board and then rang the interviewer. I was completely honest and said I was afraid Mrs. X had suffered depression at the previous company and would not be a good reference for me at this time.

The interviewer seemed very understanding and took the details of my second reference straight away.

The problem is this I believe. Have I stuffed my chances by introducing and then withdrawing (not on purpose) a quite unstable reference? Does this automatically rule me out?

I am worried because I still haven't heard from interviewer and really am keen for this job. I refuse to keep ringing the interviewer as I do not want to give an unstable impression either.

What do you think?

Thank you!!

Response from Carl: Thanks for your submission, Lily.

It's really hard to say what the interviewer is thinking based on what you mention. People change their mind and if Mrs X no longer wants to be a reference, well that does happen. It's not your fault. I've had issues as a recruiter where a hiring manager called me and asked for another reference because they couldn't contact one of them so it does happen.

I'm guessing from what you mention that both yourself and Mrs X had a really bad experience at your previous employer and at this point you're just trying to move on and find your next job. Having said that, while you're trying to move on and find a new job, most employers are going to want to speak with someone from that company to confirm specifics about your work there. So the question is how do you accomplish this?

At this point, I wonder if you can think of someone else - someone who still works there or perhaps better yet, someone else who doesn't work there anymore - who will act as a reference for you but who will not break down like Mrs X did? I don't mean that as a slag against Mrs X... I feel bad for her but from your perspective you really need someone at this point who will not only represent you professionally and honestly. That's obviously what you need at this time.

If that's not possible, you might default to using several references from a previous employer since your last employer (the bad one) doesn't allow references which is quite common these days. Ideally you will find someone from your last employer who will act as a reference but based on what you mention, if a company excludes you from consideration for a job simply or largely because a reference backed out on you, that would be rather sad.

In my part of the world here in North America, we generally get asked for 2-3 references so at this point, you probably just want to ensure you've supplied the company with at least 2 references and perhaps 3 just in case they can't get hold of one of them. From what you mention, the company you want to work for only knows that Mrs X is no longer available for a reference...they don't know about all the other stuff you experienced at your old employer so perhaps things will work out well for you. I wish you luck in that regard!

Carl